I'm so unmotivated. So unmotivated to get out of bed at a reasonable time, to shower, to eat proper meals. To finish my dissertation, to start other uni work. Even my state mandated walk seems too much effort at the moment.
My week during self isolation and staying home goes like this. Wake up gone 1pm, make a coffee, watch Netflix, make another coffee. Stare at the pile of washing I should be doing. Stare at the shower and wonder if I'll have one today. Think about leaving the house for a walk around the block. Think better of it. Think about going to Asda for some essentials. Think better of it. Instead, start a new series on Netflix. Check uni emails. Stress about uni work. Listen to the call me by your name soundtrack. Repeat.
I wish I was joking but I'm not. Life at the moment revolves around me trying very hard to find a new corner of my room to stare at to pass the time. I have only 2,000 words of my dissertation to write and I haven't looked at it in nearly a week. I think I'm going a little crazy at the moment.
I was supposed to be going to Berlin in less than a month with my Dad for my 21st birthday present. I was supposed to be going to Paris with my mum. I was supposed to be going to Amsterdam with one of my best friends. I was also planning on going back to Greece this year.
But I'm not. I'm not even going to my bloody graduation when I should be.
I know I'm lucky that I have the means to work from home, I know that I will finish my dissertation and overall degree in a matter of weeks, and I know that this will be over in the future. But it is still hard.
If someone sad enough were to record the amount of times Ive said the words 'I am bored', I would be embarrassed.
I don't know why I've blogged again after so long. Maybe I will stick to it this time.
ANYWAY, music, Netflix and my friends are some of the only things that are keeping me sane at the moment. Here's what I've been listening to recently, if anyone gave a shit.
Stay home, stay safe and protect the NHS. Never thought I would ask people to follow Government's advice, but we out here.
1) We Talk All The Time - The Japanese House
2) Mystery Of Love - Sufjan Stevens
3) Silver - DMA's
4) By Your Side - Sade
5) Menswear - The 1975